Regretfully, we find that creating this safe and authentic space with people in our lives is not as simple as just wanting to do so. We meet internal resistance from our own fears of rejection or conflict as well as external resistance from our friends and families as we begin to show up in unfamiliar ways. Our society does not value people sharing authentically with radical honesty. And our egos protect us by appearing like we have it all together – looking good, being nice, strong and capable. This collective consensus is deeply rooted in our families and society, refraining us from speaking honestly or showing vulnerability with each other.

The Pollinate POD emerged as a container to empower us to be more authentic, vulnerable and reflective with people in our lives. We began to meet for an hour and a half each week to share and confront our fears so that we can model our values in every action in our lives. We name and discuss the roles our neurological, psychological and social-reward systems play in making it difficult to bring our values to our existing relationships. We share our strengths and limitations and practice navigating these demanding situations with each others’ support.

Example: One of our members began to express her truth in areas where previously she would habitually be either passively silent or reactive. This created a ripple effect in her close relationships. She drew clear boundaries with her parents, became more assertive with her siblings, and found the courage to leave an unfulfilling job. As her spouse began to see her showing up differently, he became insecure, afraid their relationship would change and they would grow apart. This was a key Pollinate moment. She met this tension by showing up lovingly and creating a safe space for him to be vulnerable. She listened to his feelings, and shared some of our tools to help him discover the underlying cause of his reactivity. He began to understand the changes in her and realized his own need to examine the things that were holding him back from being empowered in his own relationships and career. They began to work together on each other’s growth, incorporating more of our tools and practices into their daily lives.