Edward Zaydelman

       When I first encountered Ronit and the Leap Forward community, I was at one of the lowest points in my life.  I had just gone through a divorce, my retreat center and ecovillage project had failed, and I was utterly burned out.  I wasn’t even speaking to my father due to disputes in our business.  Despite my outward talks about communities and ecovillages at festivals, the house of cards had fallen.  I was in a lot of pain, covering it up with a fraudulent mask to the world.  I was naive and inexperienced in maintaining the integrity of my word and parading around with starry-eyed visions.  My relationships were fractured, my finances were in disarray, and I was chasing toxic startups, sweet talking investors. 

       This all became evident for me after I met Ronit Herzfeld, and she told me point blank what she saw right to my face.  I had never received that level of direct feedback – she saw right through me.  From that moment, I knew that I wanted more of this; this level of honesty, integrity, and reflection.  So I joined Leap Forward!

       The transformative journey that followed was profound.  I found myself surrounded by a supportive and diverse community, who intervened when they saw me acting out of integrity with my values.  For example, I would say I want to be a man of my word, but come to meetings late.  I learned, as Ronit says often, “How I do anything is how I do everything.”  My community members began calling me out for breaking my word, always with the intention of holding me to my highest potential.  I’d never met a community where the glue was taking care of each other and caring about each other’s growth, in real-time day to day interactions.  This wasn’t just a bunch of people in a personal development workshop, this was a taste of authentic relationships and real care.

       I’ve invested 4 years in facing my deepest fears: from survival anxiety, to the fear of not being good enough or worthy to my family, and ultimately the fear of being rejected and all alone.  My community has helped me go layer by layer, fear by fear, discovering slowly who I really am when I’m not run by these old patterns and fears.  The practices I once encountered in spirituality and personal growth circles became far more profound when implemented within Leap Forward.   Community was the key missing ingredient.  Otherwise I would’ve just kept learning great spiritual truths with zero action or change.  Now, I’ve gained clarity on what real community means: authentic people who speak truth to me and support my evolution.  And I, theirs.  We are not alone, and we are not separate. 

       Instead of some fantasy business scheme to make millions, I now have a stable small business aligned with my core values.  I’ve said no to many opportunities that felt out of integrity with my values.  I’ve shifted from focusing just on myself, and making money, to how I can be of service in the world, guided by the examples modeled in Leap Forward.  My relationships have transformed.  My father and I talk again and have formed a real friendship.  Only after years of learning how to speak my truth to him and again getting support from Ronit and my peers in Leap Forward.  I feel a sense of homeostasis, no longer caught in a cycle of constant seeking or fear of survival.  These feelings still come up, but I’m in the driver’s seat now, knowing where I am today and where I want to go. 

       I now sit in deep gratitude.  I’m aware that it was my effort and work that led me here, but it wouldn’t have been possible without the container of compassionate humans that held me accountable.  Ronit was a humble guide, not a guru or some teacher looking to make money or grow in fame, but someone who gave me a map of the maze I’m in and confronted me when I kick and scream, when my scariest foundations are shaken and my jugulars hit.  I’m paying it forward by sharing this work with others that I meet in my everyday life, with my clients at work, with a stranger at the supermarket – even if it’s just one life impacted, that’s my form of gratitude for the gift I’ve received.